Almost there...

• I've done four loads of laundry.
• I've dug up and tried on every piece of summer-y type clothing I have.
• I've ironed my 12 t-shirts. And one sarong. And 2 pair-o-shorts. And 2 hair ribbons *blush*
• I've packed my bag three times.
• I've unpacked my bag twice (thinking I accidentally packed my glasses... turns out they were under the bed).
• I've organized my jewelery by three colours (turquoise, silver, and miscellaneous), and sorted it into individual pockets in my toiletries bag.
• I've checked and re-checked my tickets, passport, and travel insurance.
• I've picked out and limited myself to six books.
• I've purchased four different types of lip balm, and four different types of sun tan lotion (coincidence? I think not...)
• I've exfoliated one body, and plucked 2 eyebrows.
• I've packed six pairs of shoes: my runners, two flops, two pair-o silver flashy ones, and a pink wedge.
• I've decided on "California Raspberry" for my ten toes.
• I've had one Hep A vaccination.
• I've charged one iPod, one camera, and packed one portable charger.
• I've regretted the hundreds of chocolate macaroons, peanut m&m's, and wedges of Christmas Cake that have found their way onto my dessert plates.
• I've explained to the single cat that "mommy's going to be away for a few days..."
• I've still got 7.5 hours of work, 6 hours of sleep, 3 meals, and one hour of commute.

Most importantly, though, I've got one beach, two bikinis, four restaurants, eight bars, and many... MANY... coconut drinks to look forward to.

Cuba... Here I come!

"Merry Christmas, Everybody!"

Things Most Excellent

I've just discovered the font size icon for my blog.

Most excellent.

Also most excellent is:

• An all day breakfast place.
• Mail surprises.
• The good smell of boy.
• Fresh sheets on a comfy bed.
• The possibility of what could be, even though it's not.
• Knowing it will come.
• A candy cane.

Not likely...

The She-Ra and He-Man Christmas special was on the other day.

So unrealistic.

Am I seriously to believe Skeletor would celebrate Christmas, let alone save the day by shepherding a group of kids to safety, warmed over by sentimentality for the season? The man's name is SKELETOR, for Chr*st's sake, and his entire life revolves around destroying the human race.



I think not. Some continuity would be nice, Filmation!

Pfft.

Sledding

Fingers and I made our annual trek to the Chedoke sledding hill tonight--so fun (see Why Saucers are Better for a rehash of last year's debacle...)

The "storm of the century" hit our corner of the world last night, and we got about 30 cm of snow over the course of the day. So Fingers and I celebrated with a little sleddin', and a little layin' in the snow, and a little snow-angel-makin'. Awesome all around.

I more or less spent the entire day in snow pants, making excuses to go outside and play in it--shoveling, a trip to the corner store for kitty treats, concern for the state of the sidewalks and the ratio of salt to cement, putting out the garbage, digging a path for the garbage man to get to the garbage, more shoveling, filling the bird feeders, and then finally just playing.

And so, a few pictures of the fun:









I don't care how childish it might seem. I love the snow, I fully support snow pants, and I do the whole silly thing over again tomorrow night, if I could talk Fingers into it (huh? huh? what'dya say? hmm?)

Update: As Fingers mentioned, we met a random family while sledding. There were like, 20 of em' (well, maybe 8, but still...). And the one kid, maybe 9 years old, comes up to me while I'm ready-ing myself for the hill (positioning feet, waiting for a clearing at the bottom of the slope, adjusting my goggles, etc.) and he's all:

"Is that a krazy karpet?"
"Yes," I say.
"Oh..."
*awkward pause*
*9 year-old staring at me*
"We have another one over there," I say.

So he picks up Fingers' karpet and takes it for a spin. Fine. Whatevs. I do my thing (zooming, giggling, snow in face, etc.), and climb to the back of the hill all smiles *huff puff huff puff*

Junior's sister (Rosie, we hear she's called), whose all of about two feet tall, comes up to Fingers and I:

*more awkward staring but this time she's literally standing about a foot from me*
"Hi" she says.
*Rosie starts licking the snow crystals from her upper lip and nose*
"Um, did you want to ride the krazy karpet too?" I ask.
*Rosie yoinks my ride from my hand*

So we waited for the two of 'em to finish, and then we explain we have to leave, and their mother is all "Who are they?"

Like we said... Random.

On the 11th day of Christmas, Beef gave to Library Lady... 11 side stiches from laughing at all the funnies at WeWillRockYouinTorontoformum'sbirthdaaaaaay!

Sung to the tune (obvi) of "The 12 Days of Christmas"

On the 12th day of Christmas Sho-oes gave to Paaants... 12 tubes of Mountain Spring Vagisilllll!

Overload

Why is it that everything seems to catch up with you at once, giving you that "my-brain-is-going-constantly-and-I-have-to-keep-a-pad-of-paper-and-pen-beside-the-bed-so-when-I-wake-up-in-the-middle-of-the-night-in-a-full-on-panic-I-can-add-another-item-to-my-ever-growing-list-of-things-to-do" feeling?

Doctor's appointments.
Oil changes.
Running out of toothpaste.
Laundry.
Visits to grandmother's.
Birthdays.
Christmas shopping.
Hair cuts.
Dentist appointments.
Prescription refills.
That irritating *pffft* of an empty shampoo bottle.
Gift wrapping.
Card making.
Overtime work hours.
Soap nubbins in the shower.
Baking.

Honestly. My brain is boarder lining.

Cartoons

Have you ever wondered:

If I was a cartoon character, who would I be?

Sleeves once told me she thought I'd make a convincing Beans the Bunny. I defs see the connection. He's at his best in "A Muppet Christmas Carol."

However. I think there's ample evidence to support my being this guy:



Although I don't cry as much, my pupils do get that big from time to time. And my face is vair round. And he is the one who made famous one of my favorite movie lines of all time: "I love them! I love them so much, you HATE them compared to how much I love them!" (Please see "Madagascar" if you haven't already... Redonk.)

Please weigh in. Based on pre-existing characters, and chosen purely on a superficial, looks-only-but-a-little-bit-of-personality-too... Could that be more vague?

Hurr_ah... There's no point in even trying. Honestly. You're totally Janice. As much as you hate to admit it... Embrace it. She was hot.

Clementine-y Goodness

We have this giant box of clementines sitting on our fruit shelf, teasing me, all chubby and juicy and smelling of Christmas.

But they're full of seeds, damnit!

As Fingers would say, can't a girl get a good genetically modified clementine? What does a girl have to do to enjoy a genetically modified clementine? Why can't I get a seedless, genetically modified clementine?

Gawd.

Thoth I thaid to her, I thaid...

When I was eight, I had a lingual frenectomy.

Get your mind out of the gutter, Poo. That's fancy for "tongue tie surgery". Basically, my tongue was too short because of the part that attaches our tongues to the bottom of our mouths, and as a result, I lisped. So instead of saying: "I have to work this Sunday" (which I do), I would say (or should that be thay?): "I have to work thith Thunday."

So I had a surgery. And now "Sally can sell seashells by the seashore."

Tonight, my doctor was going through my medical history, updating her database, and she mentioned the lingual frenectomy. "Wow," she said. "Eight is quite old to have that surgery. I wonder why your parents waited?"

Sos I asked me moms tonight, why the delay?

"Because we thought it was cute," she said.

Because it was cute.

Cute?! My lisping was cute?! I guess they finally decided to give my the surgery when my teachers started to say the lisp WAS AFFECTING MY SCHOOLING!!!

This from the same people who kept me in footed sleepers long after I grew out of them because when they were too small my chubby legs curled up. And I looked cuter. And to this day, when my legs fall asleep while crossed, I curse my mother and my cute chubby curled up legs for my poor circulation.

This makes me rethink my strategy of feeding Beef's baby cheesie poofs and ho-hos because everyonly loves a chubby baby.

5 Points for 5 Work Days

1. Had the big race on Saturday. Did The Santa Shuffle for the Salvation Army. And damn, might as well have been the North Pole for all I knew (flippin' colder than a witches arse!) Regardless, I managed to run my personal best--10km in 53.33 minutes. Now, I'm not usually one for "look-at-me, look-at-me"-ing. But seriously. LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT ME! I ran a negative split, too!

2. Speaking of running, if I ran for President, I would run on the following campaign:

Bugs Bunny dressed in drag is uber not funny, and mucho creepy on the creepy scale.

Please take a moment to view the picture to your left, and vote on a scale of one to ten: one being "slightly creepy", ten being "it-rubs-the-lotion-on-it's-skin creepy".

3. It's snow season again. Which means it's saucer season (please refer to March 2007 for my thoughts on the saucer vs. the krazy karpet). I love a good saucer ride--the wind in my face, the *swish swish* of snow pant legs, and the slow realization that the only thing between me and the cold hands of certain death is 1/4 inch of shiny red plastic.

4. Some people are better than others at charades.

5. There's nothing better than that uber tired feeling, when you're wearing comfy pajamas, and you have a good movie in the DVD player, and you're tucked into bed early, with a big down duvet and the window open just so, sos you're a little bit chilly, but also mostly cozy, and your eyes are semi-closed, but it doesn't matter because it's only 8:30 and it's Sunday, and there's nothing else you should be or could be doing.